Friendship

When I was young, being friends with someone was all about what they could do for me. A good friend was someone I could have fun with, laugh with, who made me feel good about myself and secure in my place in the world. I operated on the assumption that I did the same for them, but didn't really worry about it a whole lot. When things stopped being fun, then usually the friendship died.

Now that I'm older, and know a little bit more about the world, I realize that good friendships need to be more about what I can do for the other person. Hopefully both people involved feel the same way, otherwise it ends up being a little one-sided. Not to say that those types of relationships don't have their merit as well - sometimes, in some cases, a relationship is purely about giving, and getting very little in return. Of course, there are times in all friendships when things are a little bit more about one person than the other. We all go through difficult times and we all need to have someone that we can lean on when that happens.

One of the hardest parts of friendship is sitting back and not interfering in some situations. I am a firm believer that we all need the freedom in life to make our own mistakes. It is from those mistakes and negative experiences that we grow and learn the most. Loving a friend unconditionally means that sometimes you're going to watch them go to a bad place, or remain in a bad place, steep themselves in skewed thought processes, or whatever, and the only thing that you can do is be sympathetic, listen, and love...and most of all, accept them for who and what they are. And hope that when the dust settles that they've learned something from it all.

I am the kind of person who has the tendency to really want to help others when I see opportunity to help. This sometimes means that I crowd others a little too much in my desire to do the loving and helpful thing. Some things we have to learn on our own. I need to remember that. It just hurts to see someone else hurting.

It's hard sometimes.

I am craving adult friendships more lately. I have many wonderful friends in my life, and I feel truly blessed. I am also feeling the need to reach out to others, and I am realizing how difficult it can be to make new friends. What is even more difficult is reminding myself that it takes time to build intimacy and trust.

Friendships are a lot of work. But like most things of life, the things that are the most work are the most worth it in the end.