Intensity

I've always been the kind of person that other people either gravitated toward, or ran away from.

I've come to see that it is the same quality that yields both results. Recently this quality has been described to me as "being intense". At first I was a bit taken aback by this (although it wasn't meant as an insult). When I stopped to think about it a little more, I realized that this is a pretty accurate assessment. I am given to bouts of intensity when it comes to things that I am passionate about - it can be anything from homeschooling to friendship to a favourite song or food.

This focus that I have is useful when it comes to certain things - homeschooling and running immediately jump to mind. This focus/intensity is less useful, however, when it comes to dealing with people, particularly those people who find that quality off-putting. When I was younger it used to hurt that people found me "too much". Now that I'm a little older, and a little wiser, I can understand how that might happen, and accept the part that I have to play in it.

I am who I am. Yeah, some people are gonna love me, and some are gonna hate me, and that's okay. But I've realized that I have a certain responsibility to those people that I genuinely care about and enjoy having in my life. I need to remember that more than I do sometimes. It boils down to me finding a balance between me being more sensitive to other people, while still being who I am. Like most things in life, it is a balancing act.

I know that even those who care about me find me more than a little "over the top" sometimes. That's gonna happen. But when it feels like that quality is a little too much to bear...I need to know it. My powers of perception aren't always what they should be sometimes. I can't promise to change, or to respond perfectly every time, but I can promise to be more sensitive to who you are, in the process. 'Cuz I do know that it's not all about me, all the time.

Just don't be shy, 'kay? ;)