Adult Contact

As a stay at home mom, one of the things I sorely miss in my day is adult contact. Sure, I get little bits here and there - a quick chat with another mom at the library; a two minute phone conversation with a friend, play dates with other moms and kids. Still, however, even with that bit of contact, the focus always remains on the children. How can it not be? After all, my "job" is to care for the girls, keep them amused, stimulate them, educate them. It only makes sense that my personal need for adult conversation and contact must take a back seat to that.

Some days I feel incredibly cut off from the outside world. It's as though nothing else exists except mixing paint colours, reading stories, wiping bums, doling out time-outs, loading the dishwasher and feigning interest in how high my four year old can jump on the bed. Those are the tough days, when I have to grit my teeth and just make it through.

Other days are golden. I relish in hearing the girls giggle as I tell them stories with silly voices. I can lay on the couch and play "little sweetie" with them and want nothing more out of life. I can spend the morning at the playground without even making eye contact with any of the other parents there.

I guess that it's like everything - there's a heaven/hell, good/evil, yin/yang about being a stay at home mom. But I digress.

As I work harder to be happier in my role as a homeschooling mommy, I am spending more time figuring out my needs, and working to ensure they get met appropriately. For a long time there, what I needed most was time alone. Quiet. Time to think and just "be". My early morning routine and my morning runs seem to meet that need quite nicely. I also get more than enough evening time to myself after the girls are in bed asleep. Now that that particular need is being met, other needs, particularly my need for adult contact and friendships is being revealed to me. It's good to sit with a friend and giggle and talk and not once be interrupted to wipe a nose or a bum. It's good to discuss adult subjects without having to worry about little ears listening in.

There are many sides to me. Yes, I am a mommy. I am also a wife. But there is so much more underneath all of that, parts of me that don't get to see the light all that often. I am learning to get in touch with those parts more and more...and the more they are allowed out to play, the happier and more content I feel with my mommy role.

It's all good.