"Doesn't Share Well With Others"

I need to get myself a tee-shirt with the words on it, "Doesn't Share Well With Others".

At girl's night the other night, after several drinky-poos, my "inner censor" took a hike and I decided to share some information about myself that I would have preferred to remain private.

I've been having a difficult time with this ever since.

The weird part is that the info, in the grand scheme of things, isn't a huge deal. What I shared isn't bothering me nearly as much as the fact that I actually shared it. Frankly, I hate opening myself up and being vulnerable with other people. The thing that I shared, while not terribly important, doesn't exactly paint me in the most flattering light.

Dun Dun Duuuuuun.....

Guess what? I'm human! I don't do everything perfectly! I'm just like everyone else!

Oddly enough, that's something that I hate admitting. It's not even so much that I hate admitting it, really...I mean....when all is quiet and I sit down alone with my inner thoughts and feelings, I am fully aware that I am not perfect, that I make mistakes just like everyone else. But airing my less-than-perfect self in public means that I no longer have the option of hiding behind my thin veneer of "everything's just fine". That choice has been removed from me.

And I hate it!

What it really comes back to is my "what will people think?" training. Damn, that was an effective campaign my mother launched on me when I was a kid. I've got that nagging voice in the back of my head that keeps reminding me that by blabbing my personal "stuff", I've left myself exposed to the judgment of others. Of course, with the good friends that I have, I really shouldn't let that be too much of a consideration. Yes, I'm very fortunate that way. But someone forgot to tell that inner voice about how great my friends are...because that voice ain't letting up.

I'm left with no choice at this point but to simply suck it up and deal with it. And maybe think twice before I down that much alcohol again. ;)