Finding the Love

So it's been an intense few days. Those who know the details, know why. Those who don't, let me assure you that everything is fine...just a lot of emotions have come to the surface, issues faced.

Most of all, I know that I will be okay.

I have faced a lot of darkness lately. I know that it's shown here, in what I've been writing. I know that it's okay to face that darkness, to talk about it, and to write about it. But I'm not going to do that here.

My focus now is on living. I have a lot of ground to make it up, it seems. I have begun by righting some wrongs, with others. I need to right wrongs with myself now, too.

I will run. I will write. I will cherish my daughters. I will love my husband as best I can. I will be the friend that I know that I can be. I will appreciate the gifts that I have been given in life, as they are many. And slowly, gently, I will learn to love myself.

Because that's what this all comes down to -- me loving myself. I'm sad to report that I haven't done a very good job at that lately. Or ever. It's time for that to change.

I won't do it perfectly. I will stumble along the way, I'm sure. But in this moment, I know that it's worth fighting for.