Monday, January 28, 2008

A Long Road

I have spent the last five months or so of my life completely "checked out". I have not been in the present. I have been so immersed in my own selfishness, in my own avoidance of my problems and issues, that I have hurt people around me, and caused damage to my relationships. In most cases they didn't even know it, but the hurt is there nevertheless.

I am now on the road to getting better. It's going to be a long road, a hard road, full of a lot of potholes and detours and who knows what else. I am so fortunate in that I have the love and support of not only my husband, but a community of friends who will help me through this. Ultimately it is I who has to do the work to get better, to make all of this better, but I have a hell of a cheering section.

I have said and done a lot of regrettable things. Fortunately, most of it I can make better. Some of it, I am afraid I can't...and probably won't ever be able to. For those things, I am deeply sorry. I can only hope that time will take the hurt away...for everyone.

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