Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Finding "Me"

I know that I am in there...somewhere.

I just need to make the time and effort to find me.

This morning while I was out there running (yes, Chris almost literally shoved me out the door,and for that I am grateful) I felt stronger and more confident than I have in a very long time. I felt a longing, deep down inside...it was "the real me", my true self, longing to come out.

I know that I need to listen to that longing....but for some reason, it scares the hell out of me. I have spent my whole life trying to be what I thought other people wanted me to be, and to finally trust what that inner voice is saying goes against everything I have ever believed about myself.

It is not going to happen overnight. I will need lots more shoves out the door. I will need to be quiet with myself and listen to that little voice...and nurture her so that she gets louder, more confident in herself. I need to push past the fear that I'm feeling, and learn how to trust the things that voice is telling me.

It won't be easy.

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