Making the Choice

So I've been thinking a lot more about this whole 'choosing self-love' option that's out there. I realize that I've been expecting that I was going to suddenly wake up one morning and just love myself.

It just doesn't work that way.

I'm thinking that for someone like me, learning to love myself is a lot like recovering from an eating disorder. You don't just wake up one morning and the urge to abuse one's body with food (or a lack of it) is suddenly gone. It takes work...effort. Two steps forward, one step back. Some days are golden, others are like walking through a mud pit that is slowly filling up around you. However, the beauty of it is, every day, no matter if it is a "good" day, or a "bad" one, teaches you more about yourself and the process.

I'm thinking that the journey toward self-love is much the same way. It's not going to be like flipping on a switch. This is something that I am going to have to fight for, if it's something that I really and truly want.

Do I want it? Yes! Even though this scares the ever-livin' CRAP outta me, this is something that I very much want to achieve.

Wow. It's hard even admitting that.

The fear is good. It lets me know that this is something that I really do need to do....