Pass me a Brown Thing, would ya?

I'm not one to read tabloid magazines. I'm just not interested in which celebrities have cellulite, how many babies Angelina Jolie wants to adopt, who has an eating disorder, or the latest sightings of aliens, bigfoot, bat boy or Elvis. I will admit, though, that when I'm stuck in the lineup at the grocery store, I do find that my eyes gravitate toward those things like Oprah to a new diet. All my celebrity knowledge comes from whatever I'm able to read on the front covers during my five minute wait to unload my groceries.

Last night I saw an interesting headline. Apparently Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes kid, Suri, is living quite the 'bizarre' life. There was a list of things that made her life so, things like Scientology playdates and the like, but, topping this shocking list is the fact that this poor child is deprived both television AND Happy Meals. The Horror!

I went searching on the internet just now to find out just how old this kid is. She won't be two until the middle of April! Honestly, as soon as they've got teeth, kids needs to be hooked up to all-you-can-stomach Happy Meals and a steady supply of television. We need more people to contribute to the childhood obesity problem! What the hell are her parents thinking, exactly??? QUICK! FOR GOD'S SAKE, SOMEONE PLEASE PHONE SOCIAL SERVICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yeah, I'm more than a little bit sarcastic. But really, first of all, who the cares if this kid isn't getting McDonald's and television, and second of all, since when is that considered a bad thing?

The ironic part is, of course, if photos turned up of the kid gumming on a cheeseburger and watching Law and Order they'd catch hell for that, too. Gotta love the society we live in, man.

Chris and I walk a fine line with what we allow our kids. We don't have television but we do borrow kid videos from the library. We allow them their time each day to watch, and even occasionally give them a little extra for a special treat. We take them trick-or-treating and let them have 'treats' now and again, but certainly not on a daily basis. Our personal view is that to make it 'forbidden' only makes it that much more interesting. So they can have a little, and hopefully they will learn moderation from that.

That being said, there are certain things that are forbidden. McDonald's is definitely one of those things. I don't feel one OUNCE of guilt for that one. I can happily say that while I'm still able to make that decision on their behalf, my kids will never know what a Big Mac tastes like. Same with television. Not under my roof.

While we were away on vacation I had an amusing experience with my kids. On the way to our vacation spot, we stopped at a Tim Horton's for a bathroom break and to grab a bagel for lunch. Timmy's is a spot that we go to about once a year - when we make our annual vacation trip. I prefer fair-trade organic coffee from small, local coffee shops. I prefer not to help out big business. Besides, Timmy's coffee tastes like crap.

We stopped there and the girls looked at the display of doughnuts and asked if they could have one. In a moment of weakness, I bought them one chocolate glazed doughnut to share in the car during the second half of our trip. After we ate, we got loaded in the car, and Molly said loudly, "I want my brown thing!"

"Brown thing? What brown thing?"

"Mommy, she means the thing you bought us to eat." Emma explained.

Oh! Her brown thing. Poor child didn't even know it was called a doughnut. I had a memory of Emma at the same age when she saw a package of plain sugared doughnuts at the grocery store. She called them 'sugar bagels'. Hm. Maybe I'm depriving my children more than I thought.

Please, no one phone social services on me, 'kay?