I have managed to get out and hit the streets two days in a row for two pathetically short runs. I suppose something is better than nothing, but I've got to confess that I'm feeling pretty discouraged right now. Not just with my running, but with life itself.
Running used to be such a mental and emotional release for me. These days it seems like every time I get out there I'm overwhelmed with thoughts and memories and emotions. My body hurts from running because it feels like I'm out there carrying the entire weight of the world on my back as I do it. The 5k I ran this morning felt harder than last year's marathon.
I desperately want to shake off the negativity, the emotions, the memories, and everything else that is weighing me down...but I'm not sure how to do it. I want to find the joy in the small moments of life again but that seems to be lost in me, too. I feel like I'm sitting around waiting for something good to happen in my life so I can forget about the bad, if even just for a little while.
Most days there's not enough good to push out the bad. I know it probably won't always be this way, but damn, this sucks.
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